Confession

So, I have a confession to make. Ready? I think way to hard about EVERYTHING. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G..........

The best way for my to describe it is to tell any one who is reading this to picture a filing cabinet, now picture each file in the cabinet labeled about something in your life... whether it be about you first day attending college, you old friends, old boyfriends, bad break ups, you current diet, any thing that ever happened to you in that cabinet. Now, you see those, now make a new folder and title it "Future". That word scares the crap out of me.

I think about everything all the time. I don't know why. I like to believe it's because in some way i'm a control freak. Like i=I have to have control over the future and know what's going to happen so I can control my life. Sounds ridiculous, right? It even sounds ridiculous to me as i'm typing this. But that's the truth. I hope i'm not a lone.. I'm sure i'm not. i'm sure there are other out there that are struggling with the same things. How do we control it? How to manage the thoughts and the urge to over think? Is it because we think to much about what people think of us? Probably. I know I care a lot about what others think of me... because I want them to like me and like the kind of person that I am. I'm a hard worker, I study hard, I have worked for everything I have, I have defeated my educational struggles, i'm a sensitive person, but i'm loyal and trusting. I will literally do anything for anyone who asks. I think i get my feelings hurt easily because I want from people what I give to them. Does that make sense? I have a lot to give people, but if they don't have that to give back to me, then I get hurt. I think, " I would do that for you.... why can't you do that for me? Whats wrong with me??"

Anyone else feel that way?

Home Makeover in Progress! ;)

I'm really late about posting about this project, because school took up the majority of my time! Better late than never, right? ;)

Let me start from the beginning. In my previous post, I mentioned how my husband and I met. Did i mention that he bought our now home the day before we met?? Nope? Well, he did. See, he was buying a home for HIM.... at the time he was a young single man who really just wanted a party house... then he met ME ;) bwahahaha! No, not really. He picked a really cute older home out in the country. It needed a lot of remodeling and touch ups to call it ours. The house was build in the 1970's and it was covered old cigarette  stained wallpaper and shaggy brown carpet in someone the bedrooms, stained yellow bathtubs, and yellow peel and stick flooring in the bathrooms and the sun-room.  I'm sure it was perfect for that era, but not so much now. We redid our sun-room/entry way a few years ago, but every time I enter our home, I think about how nice it looks compared to what it looked like before. 

Yellow Peel and Stick flooring.

See what I mean? Ugly yellow peel and stick flooring and cigarette stained walls. We ended up purchasing a wood laminate from Lowes, leveling out the concrete floor, and painting the walls. 

Work in Progress!! 

Sense this was the first thing people would see entering our home, i really wanted it to look nice. You can understand right?

so much better!!!

Eventually we're going to change out the shades and add some curtains or maybe leave the shades and add some curtains. who knows! But all I know is that this looks A LOT better. What do you think? 

Furbabies

Today is Month 2 for flea and tick prevention for Mr. Marley!

He's not impressed. AT ALL. See that stink eye he's giving me?! 

Unfortunately, my husband and I learned the hard way when it comes to flea and tick prevention for our animals. In fact I'm going to go as far as saying that we were very uneducated about how important it is to protect our furbabies.

Before I met my husband I was bribed into taking 2 of the most adorable kittens. Yes, I said bribed. I was 23 at the time, living in a apartment,never cared for another living thing in my life, and struggling to make ends meet. The last thing I needed were two kittens. One of my mom's best friends, Shana, her mothers cat had these kittens and they were the last to be adopted. She wanted me to meet her and my mom at my mom's house to talk about whether or not I would want to adopt these kittens. I already had my mind made up. " I am NOT going to take these kittens. I can't. I won't" -I was telling myself. I was prepared and ready to say "NO" which is actually really hard for me to do the way it is. Once I got there, I walked into my mom's room and there they were. 2 sweet white kittens playing on the bed. Shana says ," What do you think?! Aren't they adorable??" Yes, they were so cute, but I knew I couldn't take them. I told her and my mom my little speech that I was practicing on my way over there and of course, they didn't buy it. Shana then says, "if you take them, I’ll give you $200, I’ll neuter them, I’ll pay for their shots, I’ll have them de-clawed, and I’ll give you toys, cat litter, cat box, and food." Everyone can guess what I did, right? :) I took them home and I fell completely in love with my kittens.

Welcome Home! Boston (left) and Marley (right)

 Everyone asks me why chose those names. Well, Its simple. Marley was named after a dog in a movie called, Marley and Me. Marley the dog was a little rambunctious trouble maker. And I felt like that fit him quite nicely. I chose Boston because it sounds great with Marley! So, Marley and Boston it was. :)

Baby Marley saying Hi <3

They grew so fast! Aren't they adorable?

I took this after Marley felt the need to eat my flowers. ;)

My animals for the last 5 years have been my life. They were the only things that were actually solid, they were with me through the worst times, the good times, they kept my grounded, and lastly they taught me responsibility.

After I got married, my husband claimed to be a "dog" guy. That quickly changed when he met my cats. They aren't any typical cat. They love to cuddle, they greet us when we come home, they loved to be held, Boston would roll over on his back when he wanted attention, Marley can sit on command, they knew when we were sad and tried their best to comfort us. They are literally one in a million.. or would it be two in a million? ;)

My world came crumbling down when we returned home from a weekend trip and noticed Boston looked different... he didn't look like himself. At the time, my husband and I weren't really sure if he was sick or if he was just in some sort of funk. Boston had never been sick, we have always taken him and Marley to the Vet for check-ups, routine shots, and they were just always healthy... there has never been a problem with either of them. So I decided to wait until the next day to see if he got any better.. and he didn't. I took him into the Vet the very next day I was not prepared to hear what the Vet would tell me. " We think he has Bobcat fever. We're going to run a few test just to make sure." What?! Boston was mostly an inside cat.. he hated going outside.. how in the world would he have Bobcat fever?! I was devastated. I didn't know what to do.

Boston was in the Animal Hospital for almost a week. He fought hard and he beat the fever, but it wasn't good enough. We kept trying and trying... I was NOT going to give up on him that quickly. The one thing that I kept asking our vet was if he was in pain... and the vets assured us that he wasn't. So we kept trying. I mean, he beat the fever... we have to keep trying. I talked my best, best friend in the whole world about this situation and she and I agreed that if Boston wasn't ready to give up, then neither am I. When Boston decides to leave this world on his own.. then that was his decision. My husband also thought this was the best plan and so we ran with it. And I would have the peace of mind knowing that I did everything I could for my little guy.

At the Animal Hospital, they made a note that said, " any bad news call James." James ( my husband) has an amazing ability to take bad news and present them to me in a very healthy way. Its hard to describe, but he's so gentile when he does have to tell me something of that sort. So on September 27th, James got a phone call from our vet and he told James that Boston was about to pass away. As soon as I got off the phone with him, I got dressed, called my mom, was maybe on the phone with her for 3 minutes, I started walking towards the door, and I got a phone call from James. Boston passed away. I fell in my living room, onto the floor and cried.I wasn't there.... I wasn't there with Boston when he left this world. I was devastated.

After Boston passed away, my main concern was Marley. They were best buds... they have literally been together their entire lives. I didn't know how he was going to handle Boston not coming home. At first Marley was fine... I really don't think he really understood what was going on. Then when a few days passed he started looking around the house, looking into all the room meowing for Boston. At night he would do the same. Over a month has passed, so he's better now, but I still don't know if he remembers him or not.

Its sad to say that it took Boston getting sick for us to understand how important it is to protect our animals from fleas and ticks. Prevention can save their lives and its up to us to protect them.

Boston wanting attention <3

Boston had the best cuddles <3

Miss you Boss <3

This is me

This is me! ;)

   Hi! My name is Lauren and I am new at this whole blogging thing, so please bare with me as we experience this together :)  I am a 28 year old married  college student that is still trying to figure out life.

   I really have an incredibly blessed life, I have an amazing husband whom I’ve been married to for the best three years, my family is great, my friends are fantastic, and my animals rock.

   My husband, James and I met on a blind date on April 16 2010.

Isn't he handsome?! This was him in Afghanistan.

The story is really quit funny because neither of us wanted to go on this date. James was on leave from Afghanistan and I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship which let me believing that all guys were ass-holes. Trust me, I’ll get to that a little later on :). James was already invited to go out with some friends who were going to a party later that night. With a lot of convincing from my mom, I decided to go... little did I know that, that night would forever change my life. We met a local restaurant in town called, Noodles. It's an Italian restaurant that is AMAZING. I showed up late, due to me and my mom arguing about me going, I walked into the restaurant and I saw this tall, dark, incredibly handsome man sitting at the bar with his brother. ( The blind date consisted of me, James, his brother John, and his wife Melissa. Melissa was the one who set this whole thing up.) James stood up, stumbled over his chair, and said," Hi, I'm James... Its really nice to meet you." It was love at first sight. 4 days later James had to return to Afghanistan to finish his 12 month deployment. We were separated for 4 months and within those 4 months were the hardest times I had ever faced with anyone. There was this man whom I loved that was literally knocking on deaths door on a daily basis. He was a combat engineer, and for those of you who don't know what that is, they are the guys that go out before anyone else and clears the roads of IED's. Ugh, just thinking about it hurts my stomach. He got out of the Army in March 2011 ( YAY!!!!) and we got married on July 9, 2011. Like other married couples, we have had our ups and downs, but I wouldn't change change a thing. I'm a firm believer that struggles can only make you stronger, not the other way around.

Best day ever. <3

    I am currently a Junior at the University of Arkansas pursing a degree in Social Work. It's been a very long road for me, but I’m finally almost finished! I dropped out of college in 2007 and I enrolled in a local community college  back in 2011. My GPA when I enrolled was a 1.5. So, I was pretty much playing catch up from all the years I goofed around in college in the past. Which was ok with me, I am the only one who did that to myself and I had to put in the work to get myself out of that academic hole. Ever since I had seen my brothers graduate from college, I wanted that for myself as well. I wanted to graduate more than anything. For a long time, I made excuses for myself. I had people tell me that college wasn't for me. I have a learning disability that I’m currently struggling with in school... so I had all of those thoughts going through my mind and I told myself that I couldn't do it. I finally took a stand and wanted to prove not only to the people that told me that college wasn't for me, but I wanted to prove myself wrong. I will go to University of Arkansas and I will graduate. I was accepted into the UofA this year. I have one thing marked off my bucket-list. Graduating is next :)
   My family isn't very big, its actually quit small. I have my mom and dad who are still married, I have 2 brothers, Bryce and Spencer. My older brother is Bryce and my younger brother is Spencer. I have 2 grandparents, my Nanny and Papa. My dads parents passed away several years ago. I remember my grandma ( dads mom) really well, but I don't really remember my grandpa (dads dad). My Nanny and Papa are amazing grandparents. They've have been there for me and my family no matter what and they have always been so close to me. My nanny was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently, which I’ll get into later on, but that has been a really big struggle for me and the rest of my family.  

   I had 3, now 2 animals in my household. We did have 2 cats, Marley and Boston. Boston recently passed away from an awful disease called, Bobcat Fever. He was 5 years old. Boston was the cat who loved being around you. He loved sitting in our laps, rolling over on his back when he wanted attention, literally sitting on your face because he wasn't close enough, and he greeted me everyone morning when I woke up and when I came home. I miss him and I think about him everyday. Him and his brother were extremely close. They came from the same litter and they looked so much alike to everyone, except for me. They looked completely different to me. They both had their own little personalities and different markings. Boston was the peace-keeper and Marley was the little hellion. We have a Great Dane, named Tacoma. He's the sweetest, goofiest, clumsiest, and curious animal i have ever seen. He's a gentile giant that loves to be around people and sit on them. Yes, sit on them... he's a 120lb cuddle bug. 

Tacoma and I on our way home from the vet!

Marley and Boston- Boston's on the left :)