Confession

So, I have a confession to make. Ready? I think way to hard about EVERYTHING. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G..........

The best way for my to describe it is to tell any one who is reading this to picture a filing cabinet, now picture each file in the cabinet labeled about something in your life... whether it be about you first day attending college, you old friends, old boyfriends, bad break ups, you current diet, any thing that ever happened to you in that cabinet. Now, you see those, now make a new folder and title it "Future". That word scares the crap out of me.

I think about everything all the time. I don't know why. I like to believe it's because in some way i'm a control freak. Like i=I have to have control over the future and know what's going to happen so I can control my life. Sounds ridiculous, right? It even sounds ridiculous to me as i'm typing this. But that's the truth. I hope i'm not a lone.. I'm sure i'm not. i'm sure there are other out there that are struggling with the same things. How do we control it? How to manage the thoughts and the urge to over think? Is it because we think to much about what people think of us? Probably. I know I care a lot about what others think of me... because I want them to like me and like the kind of person that I am. I'm a hard worker, I study hard, I have worked for everything I have, I have defeated my educational struggles, i'm a sensitive person, but i'm loyal and trusting. I will literally do anything for anyone who asks. I think i get my feelings hurt easily because I want from people what I give to them. Does that make sense? I have a lot to give people, but if they don't have that to give back to me, then I get hurt. I think, " I would do that for you.... why can't you do that for me? Whats wrong with me??"

Anyone else feel that way?